The application process

When I first pressed the "apply" link, it was November 2014.  When I took the PAT and written, it was December 2014.  When I first walked onto academy grounds as a cadet, it was February 2016.

For those who are contemplating a career with the CHP, the process itself is not fast or easy.  Many recruiters will tell you that it's not a career where you can just get up and leave on a whim simply because you're not feeling it anymore.  It is a lifestyle.  You will live and breathe CHP on and off duty.

I'm not saying you have to be die-hard or even a workaholic.  To put it simply, once you are associated with the CHP, no matter if you are a cadet or an officer, you will always be associated with the CHP.  I learned this while I was in the academy: Don't be a Nexus to the department (I also heard it in Charmed, but it held a different meaning with the show).

You will be a nexus to the CHP.  If you make a mistake sometime during your career, it will not just be a little blurb with your name, it'll be front page, on repeat on the television that CHP officer or prior CHP officer did this or that.  And then comes all the discrimination against officers in the comments section below. So, to put it in lamens terms...mind your p's and q's no matter if you're wearing the uniform or not.  You're always an officer.  24/7.

Early 2015, I met with my backgrounds investigator to start the paperwork process.  I completed what felt like a 100 page application (realistically close to 40 pages).  And then the initial interview, where the backgrounds officer took me into a separate room from the other Valley division applicants, placed his tape recorder (just like in the cop shows) on the table between us, informed me it was policy to record the conversation and began going over my application.  This process basically tested your honesty.  See, the trick is, if you lied on this 100 page application, it'll be hard to remember where you lied and where you told the truth.  You lost track of any lies and could be caught when what you said in the interview did not match what you wrote down in the package before your investigator.

I'm not really sure if that was the CHP's purpose to that portion of the interview, but it's what I deduced.

Once the initial was over, I left and waited for his callback to say if I cleared the backgrounds portion or not.  The behind the scenes action that we do not see is the investigator checking everyone you listed on your application and asking them a few questions about you.  Just to make sure you didn't attempt on omitting any information or you weren't a secret psychopathic killer trying to hide behind the badge.  The backgrounds process was pretty thorough.  If he felt there were some holes, he called and confronted you about it, giving you that shot to come clean.

Thankfully for me, I was as honest as I could be and only had callbacks due to faulty memory.  Eventually, he gave me the green light for backgrounds, and sent me off to go through a physical as well as a psych screening (which had a part I and II).  As a forewarning, the backgrounds investigator made sure to let me know I was still under backgrounds investigations and if anything were to come up (good or bad), I was obligated to inform him.  Not doing so would be a lie of omission which is still a lie and grounds for the boot.

Psych was the longest by far in this process, despite my picking the expedited time for an appointment.  Part I involved a 500 question test that had the most random questions listed.  I really thought who would be inane enough to say (for example), "yes, I dream of killing people" (I just made that question up as an example of the randomness in the test.  I don't actually remember the questions since there were so many)?  Part II involved a board of three psychiatrists who basically questioned your responses (they thought I had an eating disorder because I misunderstood a question and answered accordingly).  Ironically, for how long it took to get an appointment date, my actual psych eval was relatively short.  I was not sure if that was a good or bad thing.  In the end, it must have been good, since I made it pass this portion!

The physical exam was kind of similar to what I had to do at MEPS 10 years ago when first applying for the Air Force (except no walking in a squatted position like a duck).  I thoroughly enjoyed my doctor.  I found her to be on the eccentric side, which was pretty interesting.  And she felt for me when she informed me I would have to undergo a rectal check (what?!?!?!).  Some good pointers to go by if you ever have to go through this, try to relax as if you're about to have a BM and it won't feel nearly as uncomfortable as it would be otherwise.

With the physical and psych out of the way, the only thing left was a VSA (voice stress analysis).  Many (including myself) thought this was a polygraph.  PSA!  A polygraph and a VSA are two different tests.  The VSA, as in the title, analyzes the stress indicated in your voice.  The theory behind this test was your voice pitch changes depending on your level of stress.  A tip for the wary, a fast racing heart rate will not affect your test.  The best you could do during this test is to be calm and answer honestly.

With all my boxes checked, all I had to do was wait and see if I would get accepted.

It finally happened. January of 2016, my backgrounds investigator called me while I was visiting my parents in Connecticut for the holidays.  I got accepted into the academy and would be starting the following month, February 1, 2016.